Friday, November 19, 2010

An excuse for getting drunk and hitting on you…no, we didn’t really mean it.


So here is a little story about what happens when a group of hothotmess girls get bored/are feeling neglected. If you we were overtly and/or inappropriately hit on by on by one or all of us recently (you know who you are) you can now rest assured that the harassment will stop…or maybe not. Oh and a deeper apology if you were one of the dumb bastards who actually took one of our hothotmess asses out and footed the bill for this little venture. Sorry...

The game (as proposed by The Ring Leader):
(The names of the participants have been changed to protect the guilty parties)

“In light of recent events, (namely our dating discussion at Pour House last Saturday, Tom monopolizing HHM's sex life, Pussy Foot stonewalling every penis that comes near her and me [Ring Leader] resorting to meaningless intercourse with long time friends), desperate measures must be taken. 

The Point system:
  1. Date for "drinks" - 1 point
  2. Dinner date (this includes cocktails while waiting for a table) - 2 points
  3. Cocktails AND Dinner (this means going to 2 separate locations, one for drinks, one for dinner, in either order) - 3 points
  4. Coffee date - 1/2 point
  5. Lunch date - 1 point
  6. Movie/Show/Game/Other activity for your date, day or night time - 2 points
  7. Weekend trip together - 5 points
  8. Each NEW guy you go on a date with is an additional 2 points.
  9. Going on a date with someone the group unanimously would never go out with - 1 additional point
  10. Maximum date rule - after your 5th date with the same guy, you no longer get points for going out with him.

Additional provisions:

No points will be awarded for any dates with Tom - we all are basically dating him and it's just going to inflate the numbers. Going home with guys does not earn you any points, regardless of what you end up doing (this rule is for me [Ring Leader] so I stop being such a shameless whore). Giving out your number awards you no points. And most importantly, the first rule of Date Club is that you don't talk about Date Club.... with men. Tell all the broads you want, I don't really care, but let's not let any men know that we're this shallow."

The end result of the game:

Pussy Foot beat HHM by 2 points. The Ring Leader failed miserably and is still resorting to intercourse with long time friends. She did go on a date but unfortunately Pussy Foot and HHM (and team) crashed it, caused mass chaos and then ended up without the Ring Leader but somehow with her date at a strip club…on a Tuesday. Pussy Foot met some great people and ultimately found herself a fantastic boy who is still around…dumb bastard. And HHM, well, she died.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

My Mustache Obsession!



My mustache obsession runs much deeper than just Movember, but before we get into that here is a friendly reminder that today is:


Now back to me and my mustache obsession! I LOVE mustaches! My dad rocked the Tom Selick stache when I was a kid, which is probably one reason that I am obsessed with the stache. But the weird thing is that I not only love, love, love boys with mustaches, I love wearing mustaches…hothotmess style.

For Halloween 2010 the hothotmess ladies of the 15th St. Sorority House went as Mexicans! Can you imagine 3 blondes with staches? Yeah, it was hot. 
Here is a little something to compare my lady stache to: Women with Mustaches. 

Now get out there and find a boy with a mustache to have sex with today. Sorry I’m not sorry (lo siento no lo siento) if it’s not your boyfriend/husband you find to bone. Maybe he should have grown a pair, or a stache in support of his and others man parts.

In true hothotmess fashion there will be no true rhyme or reason to the postings so you should be happy to take what you can get.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Welcome to HotHotMess

Whether you stumbled upon this blog by accident, someone is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to read it or you are here to find other kindred spirits (and by kindred I do mean others who are are also drunk/slutty/unstable) I want to say thank you. Gracias for obviously having nothing better to do, merci for your poor decision making skills and grazie for more than likely being a ridiculous human being.


Definition of HotHotMess

Pronounced \ˈhät ˈhät ˈmes\

1
: what provides amusement or embarrassment to ones self or others; specifically : drunk often slutty action or speech
2
: a disheveled exterior appearance
3
: over the top ridiculous comments and actions
4
: complete loss of control over ones emotions and actions

Examples of HotHotMess

Why am I such a hothotmess? I lost my cell phone, wallet and went home with that random guy.
Bitch looks like a hothotmess.

Synonyms: lush, outrageous, ridiculous human being, life of the party, drunk
Antonyms: organized, sober, boring, well put together



Side Note: Please don't forget that tomorrow is National 'Have Sex With a Guy With a Mustache' Day. Support Movember and use your V to make a difference!




In true hothotmess fashion there will be no true rhyme or reason to the postings so you should be happy to take what you can get.